so if I have done almost everything on my list of goals, can I just come home?

Okay, okay...seeing as how my last few blogs have been a little negative, I figured I should write and let you know that I am okay, my world didn't explode, life is still moving.

But seriously, things are getting better. I am settling in and starting to realize that I am in LONDON! I have been running everyday which has helped me keep in check. I have also been doing some exploring on my own and with my flat mates. I went and checked out Buckingham Palace and Piccadilly Circus (mini Times Square) and the West End. London is very beautiful. East London, where I am, is a little sketch...definitely restrict my runs to day time. haha. But it is going better and I appreciate all the support and love from everyone at home.

There is one thing I have been noticing that I would like to share with everyone. My school here is extremely diverse. There is not minority or majority...its just students...from everywhere. It probably is one of the most diverse places I have ever been for an extended period of time. Maybe I am just ignorant, or maybe I just never took the time to really consider it, but it amazes me how similar people can be. Sure, there are so many differences. Differences that are very obvious...physically, dress, morals, values, customs, traditions, language, food (the list could go on forever)...but there is something fundamentally the same about everyone. There is this "thing," this piece of everyone that links us. Does this make sense at all? I mean, it seems so obvious, we are all humans after all, but how many of you have really thought about it? As different as I am from, say, and Iraqi or a Japanese person, there is something inside all of us that we each would understand about the other. There don't have to be words. But I am saying that there is this feeling, this state of mind, this basic instinct maybe that we all share and we all can see within one another. Its something that we share with our friends and our families.

Maybe I am just rambling and not making sense...its harder than I thought. I am just saying, I think we look at people too often as foreigners, or different from us. Different types of humans, of people. Separated and maybe only being connected because we speak languages or have the same human characteristics...but I think we are all more alike than we care to admit. We don't take the time to look at it...we don't take the time to realize we all feel. Again, maybe you all have thought about this before and I am just lagging behind, but its has just been all that more apparent to me. Queen Mary is full of every race, color, nationality. And yet within each, you can find the kid who is homesick, who misses their boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, or dog. You can find within each the person who wants nothing more than to make this world a better place. You can find within each group the person who will go out of their way to help someone, to lend them a hand. You can find that person within each group because our groups are not as defining as we make them...we ARE all humans. We really are.

Maybe if our leaders stopped to consider that...things wouldn't be so scary in this world. Not just one...all of them. I hope and pray they do.

Okay, enough of this....just want you all to know I am learning. Im not just over in England partying...haha. =)

aRghhhghhh!

Ever feel like you have made the biggest mistake of your life? Yeah, that is my life in a nutshell. Its ridiculous. I know that the whole culture shock and adjusting takes time...but no one ever warned me about how much it really does suck.

And can I vent about the education system here? My god...its like I walked in a time machine. For being a prominent university in the city of London...I would have expected a lot more. Hardly anything is done by computers. It is all paperwork and long lines. For everyone who has been so mad about computer systems and registering online, reconsider. I know it can be stressful, but there is nothing like this. After I enrolled I had to sign up for classes. Basically, they put us in a room with all the departments and it was a free-for-all. They had hand written lists of classes that were available or not and they checked them off as they went. So chaotic, unorganized, and all together frustrating.

I hope that things start to improve. I feel sick to my stomach all the time because I am homesick. The only highlights of my day are in the evening when I get to talk to those few people from back home who are keeping me going....and bed. I am in love with sleep. I don't have to stress, I don't have to be afraid, I don't have to cry...I can just...sleep.

I miss you all so much. My heart breaks every day because you are all not here. I have strangers...and thats probably one of the loneliest places to be. I have to keep reminding myself that this is more like a vacation than living somewhere. Its temporary. I am coming home in no time so I need to enjoy this. I need to try.

Going through things like this make me think a lot about life. Its amazing how fast life goes when you are with friends, having a blast with family, or in love. And its cruel how horribly slow life becomes when that is all taken away.

Anyway, enough of my ranting. Thats just where I am at right now.
love
matt

Greetings everyone!

Well...I am officially in London now. I arrived about 2 1/2 days ago. Things have been...well...interesting. As you all know...I am a big baby so it has taken some adjustment getting used to everything. I am still working on it but it is slowly getting better.

The first day we took a tour of London by bus and boat. It was really cool...though being jet lagged did not really help with the whole "memory" of the trip. But I am sure I will do much of that when my family arrives.

My flat mates are wonderful. Truly. Could not ask for a better bunch of people. There are 2 other guys and 3 girls. 1 other American and 1 Irishman and the rest from England. It is great. I start classes in a week.

I miss everyone so much. I cant even explain it. But thats okay...Day by day...thats the only way to do it. I cannot wait to fill you in on more details..please stay tuned. miss you c.
love
matt

One Week To Go

So...one week to go. yikes. One week before my life is flipped upside down for awhile. One more week before I no longer have my cell phone at my side. One more week before I say goodbye to all the familiar faces and trade them for a thousand new ones.

After a summer in Seattle I never thought I would be able to take off for another three months. Honestly, I was kind of kicking myself...but now that I am here, I am even more anxious to get going again. Its not that I haven't loved being home and being with all the people that mean the world to me, but its like I started down this road in Seattle and I haven't quite finished it yet. I think I grew up a lot in Seattle. But, I don't think I am quite done.

With one week to go I have looked at what I want to accomplish over this next semester. I mean, that makes sense, right? Find something to accomplish and just go for it. After all, what kind of responsible student and person would I be if I didn't set goals. So here it goes...just some first thoughts...hardly a final draft.

1. Pretend I know exactly where I am even though I am completely lost

2. Explore the idea of "humanity" with a stranger...preferably with a beer in hand

3. Play at the London Zoo

4. Get somewhere one way and back home another

5. Redefine someones notion of America (I refuse to be seen for the actions of another rather than the integrity of my own character and beliefs) deep, I realize

Today's Song: All in All by "Lifehouse"

I am completely and utterly scared out of my mind, but wouldn't have it any other way. =p
best,
Matthew